Yo soy La Lay

adventures in family, faith, and Down syndrome

DSAM17 – Day 19 – Internal Conflict, Part 2

on October 19, 2017

I didn’t realize what a broad range of emotions could come from the birth of a sweet little baby with Down syndrome.  One of the biggest mistakes that I made in those first weeks was holding the expectation that all of our loved ones should process this diagnosis in the same way that I did.  As much as this is a journey that she is on, and I am on, so it is for everyone, really.

In those early days, sadness from others made me mad.  I equated it with people thinking that she was somehow a burden, or just less.  I didn’t understand that for everyone, there is a process, and likely, it is different than mine.  And while I am her mother, and I get to dictate a lot of the things about her life right now, I am not the sole proprietor of the emotions caused by that extra chromosome.  

This gets really difficult when negative emotions about disability are thrown at us.

And in those instances, it’s really easy for me to get angry again.

Anger doesn’t work.

What I really try to work on is compassion, patience, and the ability to show love to those who don’t get how grateful we are.  I’m not always particularly good at that.  As a matter of fact, some days I downright suck at being kind to the well-meaning-but-totally-ridiculous commentators… but I’m trying.  And if there is one thing that I have learned in this regard, it is that if I let them, other people will try too. ❤️

Completely unrelated photo of a really freakin’ cute bath baby:

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