Yo soy La Lay

adventures in family, faith, and Down syndrome

Five

My little sunshine girl is five.

Let the annual birthday crying commence.

As I sent her off to bed tonight, I gave her a great big hug and told her to sleep good for her last night of being four. We’ve been practicing her new age all weekend. She is excited to be five because darn it, it is hard to make that thumb go down when you’re trying to make the number four with your fingers. Five is easier – a whole hand.

Her stubby little wiggly fingers are one of my favorite parts of Tessa. Her hands always make me smile. I hold them often to keep her from running, and she has easily learned to wriggle herself away from my grip so she can run fast and free.

Golly, I just want to bottle her up and keep her exactly the way she is!

Since having Lauren, and knowing that unless God somehow gets a little cray cray on us, we’re done, I find my breath catching in my chest when I think about all these sweet girls catapulting toward adulthood. Oh Tessa… her heart is bursting with joy for the tiniest of delights – a sprinkle of “dust” (Parmesan cheese) on top of her pizza, some 80s Hair Band music on Daddy’s phone, the tiniest piece of chocolate after dinner. I don’t want to lose this.

I don’t ever want to lose this.

I will take the stubborn refusals and the belligerent No’s if I can just keep the joy in her. Because for all the frustrating moments that raising any child can bring, with her, the happiness is so much more.

To my dear sweet girl on your birthday, I love you so much. From tiny little NICU baby, to headstrong little girl, every day is an adventure that we could never have predicted. You filled a hole in me that I didn’t know was there. I’m so grateful for every little piece of you. ❤️

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