Yo soy La Lay

adventures in family, faith, and Down syndrome

A lack of productivity

on March 12, 2014

I am two weeks-ish away from the end of my maternity leave.

For the record, I don’t think time has flown by.

However, I am also in denial about actually working again. It has been so long since I was in front of my classes. Especially considering that no one (and I mean no one) could have imagined the birth of my girl would be what, and when, it was.

I’m looking around my home tonight at my half-finished projects, wondering what exactly I accomplished in the last three months.

Back in September, the big conversation in our house was ‘should I take 6 weeks or 12?’ I really like to work. I was afraid that I would be bored at home. I wanted six weeks, we compromised on nine. And as my nine-week mark passed this week, I have to swallow my pride and say that John was right on this one and I’m so thankful that I was able to be home with Tessa for 14 weeks total. (I hate to be wrong. I cried tears of joy when they told me Ellie was a girl simply because I was right and everyone else was wrong.)

When we decided on nine weeks, I made myself a list. I had big plans to get some serious work done around the house. I had books to read. There was even a Pinterest board created called “my lonely leave,” filled with crafts and projects to keep me busy.

And after nine weeks, I still have Christmas presents to be put away.

But I have accomplished so much… learned so much… grown so much. I’m comfortable going back now, though we haven’t come as far with Tessa’s feeding as I hoped. Still, it is enough.

My house might not ever be clean again, but it is enough.

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