Yo soy La Lay

adventures in family, faith, and Down syndrome

Lesson #7: Tessa makes some people uncomfortable

on October 7, 2014

This is part of the 31 for 21 Blog Challenge!

I will preface all of this by saying that the vast, vast majority of people that we interact with make no issue of Down syndrome.  As a matter of fact, we haven’t had a single person express anything other than complete joy about our baby girl and her extra chromosome (at least to our face).  However, it is also not lost on me that there are a couple of people in my life who have literally dropped off the face of the earth since Tessa was born.

We are proud of Tessa and we will bring her into the community and show her off.  She will participate in all of the activities that she wants to and sometimes she’ll do things differently than other kids.  She will go to Chili’s for dinner with us.  She will putz around at the zoo.  She will sit restlessly through church.  She will go Trick or Treating for Halloween and we’ll take her to the Chicago to see the Christmas trees at the Museum of Science and Industry.  She will look different and probably sound different doing all of those things and we are just fine with that.

We know that others are not.

We know that sometimes people will stare because they don’t know what else to do.  Or sometimes, they will refuse to meet our glances because they think that somehow, that’s better for everyone.  Someday, someone will be impatient with her and will grow angry with her slow and steady pace.  I cannot always save her from those people.

I will not be surprised the day that I get a call from the principal saying that Ellie has punched some snot-faced boy in the nose for calling Tessa the r-word.

This is also part of our reality.  It’s a part that we are trying to change, or at least minimize, but we know it’s there.  I know that there are people who are uncomfortable with the differences that Tessa represents.  It’s kind of sad.

To the former friends who have since left, we truly wish you all the best.  Mostly, we hope that someday, you will open your heart to experience the light and love that Tessa brings to our world.  It’s amazing.

And, for the record, the day that I get the call from Ellie’s principal, she is most certainly gonna be in trouble.

Free Printable scripture art.


3 responses to “Lesson #7: Tessa makes some people uncomfortable

  1. Oneinamillion says:

    I can tell people are looking at The Peanut when we go out. She has a tube on her face and what looks like a big black eye so I don’t blame them. I find myself just looking at her, unable to look at them, because I don’t want to catch them at it and have them look away as if they shouldn’t be looking. I also don’t want to see any pity, and I’ve caught a few of those looks before too.

  2. momof1and10 says:

    My brother had Down Syndrome. He was 7 years older then me. I was his protector. There was always someone staring at him when we went out. Being who I am, I would just stare back at them and they would stop. Your friends that have fallen out of sight, they are truly missing out! I love reading your blog. Tessa is beautiful! 🙂

    • Maggie says:

      Thank you! 🙂 I think a lot of us moms are on a quest to “normalize” the differences that our child bring to the table… It seems a little daunting at times, but I’m certainly not going to hide in a closet waiting for everyone else to come around!

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