Yo soy La Lay

adventures in family, faith, and Down syndrome

Mom Guilt

on February 17, 2014

Both my girls had fabulous heads of hair at birth. See exhibit A (Ellie) and B (Tessa):

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It took me until Ellie was 2 to get the courage to even give her a trim! When your little one has hair to her shoulders before she can walk, it’s quite the accomplishment!

However, my pride in the hair of my children is also why I’m feeling horribly guilty about the latest development in Tessa’s growth.

She has a bald spot.

I realize that in the grand scheme of things, this is quite possibly the dumbest thing in the world that I could concern myself with. I mean, really? Most babies lose all their newborn hair… and that’s if they born with any in the first place! And yet, here I am, practically in tears over this tiny little spot on the back of Tessa’s head that has lost its hair.

Up until this point, I’ve had exactly two times in my 2.5 years as a mother where I felt guilt. The first was when we had to take Ellie to the emergency room from a 105 degree fever. I was at Parent Teacher Conferences and was not there to take her or to hold her hand. The second was on December 23, after a day struggling to meet the needs of both my newborn and my big girl. I hadn’t put Ellie to sleep in days, we didn’t get to have our ritual Christmas light-viewing drive, I had a miserable day trying to feed Tessa, and I thought that she wouldn’t be home in time for Christmas.

Outside of those incidents, I’m not one who has struggled a lot with guilt. And yet, here I am, focused squarely on a tiny little bald spot. To me, though, that bald spot represents all the times that I have washed the dishes rather than giving Tessa her Tummy Time. It’s the extra five minutes I spent in the shower while she slept in her bouncy seat. And I know it’s impossible for both of us to work on her “skills” at every moment, but I wish that I didn’t have to see the
physical evidence of my prioritizing on the back of her head.

Then again, the front is pretty epic, isn’t it?

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One response to “Mom Guilt

  1. Susan Sakash (Pete's mom) says:

    What a beautiful family. You are all so blessed.

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