Yo soy La Lay

adventures in family, faith, and Down syndrome

In which we begin again

Another school year begins tomorrow. That blissful stretch of open road that lay before me back in May has now reached a dead end. Or maybe one of those intersections where you have to turn left or right into a hectic routine. You can’t continue on the open road of summer forever… not in this house.

In two separate and totally unrelated incidences, my mom and father-and-law turned to me as I was playing with Tessa and said the exact same thing: “You’re really going to miss her this year, aren’t you?” This statement has given me pause because it isn’t something that anyone has said to me before in regards to either of my children. Not when I returned after maternity leave, not at the end of any other summer break… not ever. I adore all of my family members, even my husband ;), so I’m trying to put my finger on what exactly it is about this child that makes the separation more intense.

Basically, it’s because I’m a control freak. I mean, there is that sweet smile that sends us all over the moon (especially me), but let’s be honest here. In seven and a half months, I have missed exactly one doctor appointment and 1.5 therapy sessions out of a zillion. This school year, Tessa will have both OT and Speech at daycare without me. I may have to miss a doctor appointment here and there. And I’m not done training John on how to best keep track of information for me! It’s a forced transition into letting go just a little bit. That’s good for me and my child.

To be frank, my brain needs a break from Google. I spend every spare moment networking, researching, reading about Down syndrome. It makes me a little bit insane. It’s unneccesary. It doesn’t do any of us any good. I am determined to provide Tessa with a quality life with many choices. I don’t want to “cure” her or to change her, but instead hope to create an environment in which she can thrive. I can do that best by giving my brain a break and the best way I can do that is to begin the school year again. So off we go!

And now, cuteness:

Tessa helped us get the room clean in the best way she knows how…

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I just love this picture that my sister took…

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Ellie and Tessa, hanging out as sisters do…

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And finally, Tessa’s first toenail polish…

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Do you know what is the worst experience ever post-baby? I bet you do!

Bathing suit shopping.

Ugh.

You know, I bounced back fairly well after Ellie was born, but pregnancy with Tessa really did a number on me… not to mention the hours spent hunched over a Boppy pillow feeding her in the sidelying position.

Wide hips, huge feet, stretch marks, worse eyesight, terrible posture, hunched shoulders… It’s not even the weight so much as the complete alteration of my entire shape.

OK, I’m done.

I know, I know, 9 months on, at least 9 months off, you grew a human, stretch marks remind us of the miracle of life that grew in our belly, blah blah blah, yadda yadda. I’m not there yet.

But last weekend, the pool looked so inviting and fun. And I want to be the one having fun rather than watching the fun. So bathing suit shopping happened. And now I have to suck it up… and suck it in… and remind myself that she was worth it. They were worth it.

(and so were the control-top bathing suit bottoms that cost double the price of the regular kind. Just sayin’.)

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